Process Your Anger in a Healthy Way

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” - Ephesians 4:26 
  
When we read Paul’s words in Ephesians, the first part seems pretty straightforward, "Be angry and do not sin." It seems simple enough, just don’t lash out or say hurtful things when you’re upset. But then we get to the second part, "Do not let the sun go down on your anger." At first glance, it might seem like Paul is simply encouraging us to resolve issues before the day ends. But there’s something deeper happening here.

Why doesn’t Paul just say, "Be angry, don’t sin, and resolve it before the day ends"? That would make sense if the goal was just behavior modification. After all, modifying our actions is usually how we handle anger in the short term, right? We hold our tongue, we don’t throw things, and we keep it together outwardly. But as we all know, modifying behavior only goes so far. The real issue lies beneath the surface.
 
The problem isn’t always the behavior itself, it’s the root of the anger. Have you ever pretended to be nice, even though you were angry on the inside? You might have changed your actions, but the bitterness still lingered in your heart. This is why Paul emphasizes the deeper work that needs to happen.  

Simply not sinning in your anger doesn’t address what’s behind the anger in the first place. Anger is often a sign of something unmet, whether it’s a disappointment, a hurt, a sense of injustice, or an unhealed wound. The issue isn’t just what happens on the outside but what’s happening on the inside.
 
So, why does Paul say, "Don’t let the sun go down on your anger"? I believe it’s more than just a time-based rule. When the sun goes down, our ability to see clearly diminishes. We lose our perspective. This is why Paul is urging us to not let our anger go unchecked until it becomes something we can no longer understand or control.  

When we bring our anger into the light, it gives us a chance to process it in a healthy way. It’s not about pushing the anger away, ignoring it, or pretending it doesn’t matter. It’s about recognizing it, understanding where it’s coming from, and allowing God to work through it. The next time you find yourself angry, don’t just stuff it down or let it boil over. Bring it to the light, and let God show you what’s really going on beneath the surface.