Discover the Underlying Need

"Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these." —Galatians 5:19-21 
  
In our journey of faith, we often focus on modifying our behaviors, thinking that by stopping certain actions, we are healing. But this is like putting a band-aid on a wound without addressing the underlying cause. Behavior modification gives the illusion of healing, but the root issues remain.

For instance, someone who is unfaithful in a relationship might end the affair, but if their infidelity stemmed from a deep-seated need to feel seen or understood, that unmet need will manifest in other ways. Similarly, a person who overeats to cope with sadness might stop overeating, only to start over-exercising or overworking. The underlying pain still drives the behavior, just in different forms.
 
Paul's message in Galatians is clear: the "works of the flesh"—negative behaviors like anger, jealousy, and strife—are merely symptoms. They are the fruit, not the root. God calls us to heal the deeper wounds that drive these behaviors. True transformation comes when we address the core issues, not just the outward actions.

To walk in the Spirit, we must address these root issues. Here are three steps to begin this healing process: Notice, Name, and Discover the Need.
 
Notice: Become aware of the moments when your wounded part is activated. Do you become anxious when loved ones leave? Do you avoid closeness to prevent feeling abandoned? Pay attention to these reactions.

Name: Identify and name the wounded part of yourself. For example, if you were abandoned as a child, you might name it your "childhood abandonment part." Recognize that this part of you is reacting based on past trauma.
 
Discover the Need: Understand what need this behavior is trying to meet. Is your clinginess a need for connection? Is your avoidance an attempt to protect yourself from rejection? Identifying these needs helps in addressing them healthily.

By practicing these steps, you begin to separate from your discomfort and learn new, Spirit-led ways of handling it. When we address the root causes, the Spirit of God can guide our actions, leading us to true healing and transformation.