Figuring Out Why
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
“Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” These popular words of prayer were penned by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr. The prayer has been popularized by 12-step programs, self-help gurus, and counselors alike. The point of the prayer is it’s a plea for the inner willpower to surrender to God by realizing there are some situations we have no power to change, harnessing the strength to change the things in life that we can change, and ability to discern the difference.
The truth is we cannot change our pain-filled past. It’s what stands out to me about the story of the wedding at Cana in John 2. What I like about the story is that when the wine runs out, the couple doesn’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out why it ran out. Can you imagine how much worse the situation would have been if the couple had started arguing about whose fault it was for taking care of the wine? Can you imagine if the bride’s father had turned to the groom’s father and accused him of being too cheap to get enough wine?
We do not know whether the wedding coordinator made a mistake and ordered 13 instead of 30. We do not know if the delivery guys delivered the wrong order to the wrong address. But I think the Holy Spirit intended for us not to know, because a lot of times, when things go wrong in our lives, we waste a lot of time trying to figure out why. And as a result, we develop a paralysis of analysis trying to figure out why.
We cannot change the fact that someone we loved let us down. We cannot change the fact that a promise that was made was not kept. We cannot change the fact that someone hurt us, abused us, or was not there for us. We have to accept it for what it is. It happened. That does not mean that what they did was okay, but what it does mean is that we can learn from it, rise above it, and move forward trusting that God can bring good from it.
“Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” These popular words of prayer were penned by the American theologian Reinhold Niebuhr. The prayer has been popularized by 12-step programs, self-help gurus, and counselors alike. The point of the prayer is it’s a plea for the inner willpower to surrender to God by realizing there are some situations we have no power to change, harnessing the strength to change the things in life that we can change, and ability to discern the difference.
The truth is we cannot change our pain-filled past. It’s what stands out to me about the story of the wedding at Cana in John 2. What I like about the story is that when the wine runs out, the couple doesn’t spend a lot of time trying to figure out why it ran out. Can you imagine how much worse the situation would have been if the couple had started arguing about whose fault it was for taking care of the wine? Can you imagine if the bride’s father had turned to the groom’s father and accused him of being too cheap to get enough wine?
We do not know whether the wedding coordinator made a mistake and ordered 13 instead of 30. We do not know if the delivery guys delivered the wrong order to the wrong address. But I think the Holy Spirit intended for us not to know, because a lot of times, when things go wrong in our lives, we waste a lot of time trying to figure out why. And as a result, we develop a paralysis of analysis trying to figure out why.
We cannot change the fact that someone we loved let us down. We cannot change the fact that a promise that was made was not kept. We cannot change the fact that someone hurt us, abused us, or was not there for us. We have to accept it for what it is. It happened. That does not mean that what they did was okay, but what it does mean is that we can learn from it, rise above it, and move forward trusting that God can bring good from it.
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