Look Beneath The Surface

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7) 
 
By reading the story of Abigail and Nabal, we can see that bad relationships can form when the people within the relationship prioritize the wrong things. According to the text, Nabal was a man of means. He was wealthy, owned cattle and land, and seemed to be a man of influence. Because he was successful in business, had a lot of money, and had a level of importance in the community, he was seen as a good catch. He could provide for his wife, keep a roof over her head, and was held in high esteem in the eyes of others.  
 
While Abigail and her family chose Nabal because of this wealth and his money, it’s reasonable to believe that Nabal chose Abigail because of her looks. Yes, she was smart, but because he rejected her wisdom in the text, it seemed like he just wanted her because she was beautiful. He wanted a woman who was good eye candy, who would make him look good in the eyes of his friends.  
 
Both of these things, how much money someone has and how good someone looks, are the wrong things to prioritize when you get into a relationship. A person can have money and lack morals; a person can be good looking and not share your faith in God.  
 
When you read this passage in Scripture, you discover that while Nabal may have been a good provider, enabling Abigail to be a kept woman, he lacked character and had serious issues. He was rich in possessions, but he wasn’t a good person. Sadly today, people prioritize the wrong things when they choose someone. They get seduced by the stuff that people have—cars, cash, and clothes—and they overlook the person’s character. 
 
If you want to have strong, God-honoring, high-quality relationships, you have to look further than what meets the eye. You can’t base your attraction to someone solely on the way they look and the things they own. Instead, you must look deeper at their heart, their character, and their faith. Just like Scripture reminds us in 1 Samuel 16:7, “But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”