Don’t Forget About You

But I will rejoice forever; I will sing praises to the God of Jacob. (Psalm 75:9) 
 
Many of our past relationships end badly because most of us loved recklessly. Reckless love is when you are constantly the only one giving in the relationship, pouring out to fill others up, and then finding yourself empty. It is leasing somebody your oxygen and agency, and then wondering why you can’t breathe.  
 
For those of us who travel often, on every flight, before the plane takes off, the pilot will say, “if this flight should lose cabin pressure and there must be an emergency evacuation, put your oxygen mask on first before you help those around you.” The reason is that you can’t help others if you do not first help yourself. Helping yourself gives you the capacity to help someone else. You must dare to turn inward, dare to give some priority to yourself.  
 
Now understandably, this is a bold and courageous step that many personality types struggle with. It is particularly difficult for people who are “empaths.” Empaths are people who are prone to feel what another person is feeling; they are very sensitive to others, which is not a problem in itself. But they get in trouble because in relationships, they focus much of their attention on pleasing the other person.  
 
I’m not sure if the Psalmist is an empath, but I like the shift in the text. He says, “as for me.” He starts to think about what he wants and who he is. Many of us need a radical revival of self where we divorce our self-worth from other people’s presence in our lives. The Psalmist says, “I will sing praise to the God of Jacob.” I am no longer going to allow my agency, my desire, nor my worth to be dictated by people and places in my past. Instead, I am going to find my true worth and identity in Christ, remembering that I am His and that I can’t help others in their relationship with Him if I don’t spend time on growing in my own faith and maturity.