Complete In Christ
And in Christ you have been brought to fullness. He is the head over every power and authority. (Colossians 2:10)
A few years ago, Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote, “Marriage responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there.” Here he associated marriage as a response to the “universal fear” of being single, where singleness is projected as a negative.
I want to tell all single people that your singleness is not a negative; your singleness is not a problem that can be solved just by getting into a relationship. It’s going to take more than a desire to be married to have a good marriage. We shouldn’t treat singles as if they are less than, as not-yet-grown-ups, as people waiting for life to begin once they “find somebody.”
On the contrary, singleness can be just as fulfilling, fruitful, and rewarding as married life because in order to be happy with somebody else, you have to first be happy with yourself. Someone else can’t complete you. Someone else can’t make you happy. That will never work. When you are whole and healthy while single, you realize that a relationship may compliment you, but it doesn’t complete you.
As we’ve been looking at the story of Abigail over the last few days, it has become clear that Abigail was somebody special. She had gifts, skills, and abilities before she married Nabal, but the society and culture around her caused her to think that her singleness was a penalty that could only be remedied by a man.
Sadly, there are so many people in toxic relationships because they view their singleness as a problem. Yes, we are fundamentally relational, but that relational need can be met by a close friend or a close family member. Abigail’s relationship in this text didn’t have to happen, but because her singleness was viewed as a problem, Abigail got into a relationship with a person who wasn’t good for her. That is the last thing I want to happen to Christians today. I want you to know that only in Christ can you be complete, and it doesn’t take another person to validate your existence. My prayer is that you learn from Abigail’s mistake so you don’t have the same experience in your own relationships.
A few years ago, Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote, “Marriage responds to the universal fear that a lonely person might call out only to find no one there.” Here he associated marriage as a response to the “universal fear” of being single, where singleness is projected as a negative.
I want to tell all single people that your singleness is not a negative; your singleness is not a problem that can be solved just by getting into a relationship. It’s going to take more than a desire to be married to have a good marriage. We shouldn’t treat singles as if they are less than, as not-yet-grown-ups, as people waiting for life to begin once they “find somebody.”
On the contrary, singleness can be just as fulfilling, fruitful, and rewarding as married life because in order to be happy with somebody else, you have to first be happy with yourself. Someone else can’t complete you. Someone else can’t make you happy. That will never work. When you are whole and healthy while single, you realize that a relationship may compliment you, but it doesn’t complete you.
As we’ve been looking at the story of Abigail over the last few days, it has become clear that Abigail was somebody special. She had gifts, skills, and abilities before she married Nabal, but the society and culture around her caused her to think that her singleness was a penalty that could only be remedied by a man.
Sadly, there are so many people in toxic relationships because they view their singleness as a problem. Yes, we are fundamentally relational, but that relational need can be met by a close friend or a close family member. Abigail’s relationship in this text didn’t have to happen, but because her singleness was viewed as a problem, Abigail got into a relationship with a person who wasn’t good for her. That is the last thing I want to happen to Christians today. I want you to know that only in Christ can you be complete, and it doesn’t take another person to validate your existence. My prayer is that you learn from Abigail’s mistake so you don’t have the same experience in your own relationships.
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2026
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